It's MY CHOICE!!!

Decisions are made but why criticize? People tried to pick their own choice but still there are others who will react. There are also instances that they will influence others and decide for them.

Would that be fair? Do we have freedom to choose? To what point could we decline? Was the decision final? Was the step correct? Was there hesitations? Could we just decide for ourselves?

I was already choke about the issue. Is this what they call democracy? Perhaps others could not get over it. Just to give you a glimpse of what I am talking about I will share you this...

I think almost everybody is interested with extra and co-curricular activities. May it be fraternities, religious group, student organizations, and sports affiliation, to name a few. I know you yourself has decided to join one. But they cannot accommodate all. One has to go through series of examinations, screening, and interviews before the assessment comes. Many applied but few were chosen.

At first, I applied as writer in the student publication but unfortunately was not accepted. Lucky were others. I was not able to passed the standards that led me to strive hard more.

The semester was about to end, that time, when I decided to join on another extra-curricular activity. Lucky as I am, I passed as feature writer there. It was summer when I got acquainted with the whole activity. I bonded with them. It was fun. But suddenly the end point came.

Another school year was about to start. My subjects' schedule was unstable that I had to convene the assigned schedule with that of the teacher's. Because of that, I missed few of the meetings in my co-curricular affiliation. I informed the head but she refused to believe saying that changing schedule was a lame excuse. But, that was true and I even did not excuse myself for that.

Well I was really shy before. I could not reason because it hindered me to do so. The head asked the final load schedule to convene with the meeting assignment. I was about to meet her in the office because she wanted me to talk to her and give my final say - if I'm going to stay or not. Before, I'm not used to stay late at night so I decided to go home. I can't wait for her to arrive.

Next days was off and on. I decided to stop. Nevertheless there were no doubts at all. It just that she was mad at it. I don't know with her. I just can't spell it out.

Following announcements that the student publication have once again inviting interested writers to apply. Now, I decided to try it out again. If I could not still pass, it would mean, writing is not for me but if I pass well fair enough. I'll work hard for it.

The time came. Yes! I passed. Fortunate, I was accepted to the publication. Big embraces were before me. But before I ventured to the publication. My ex affiliates were in trouble thinking why I was not showing up in the office. Well, if the head cannot accept me why should I push myself there, I said.

I feel that there is something between me and my former affiliates though most of them are still good friends of mine, if they still consider me as one. By the time I was with them, there was already talks about conflict between the publication and them. Just simple insecurities.

The issue is still there up to now. I don't know with them or the one heading it. I am just silent about that one but I have heard talks about it. Maybe it doesn't mean a lot to some but I was cited as bad example.

Well back to my concern. Do I have a choice? Well I HAVE!!!

I was not influenced. It's my decision not of anyone. Can they just understand that and get over it? I don't know why they are competing. Are we of the same level? I don't know. Could they just realize that it's between me and their group. They just put issue to my exit. Well, am I a loss to them? Why are they overreacting to the situation?

Things have to be decided. But my decision was final, I am not staying. The group that I am with now are those people who I am mostly welcomed. Though no regrets about the past and I am even thankful.

Again we are in the democratic country like the Philippines. We have our own choice. Don't be influenced! If you are staying then stay but then when you feel like stopping then do so. I don't have guilt feelings because I don't owe them anything, not at all.